Friday, July 16, 2010
YOGI BERRA SWEATS OUT THE WEEK AFTER THE DEATHS OF BOB SHEPPARD AND GEORGE STEINBRENNER
New York- Yankees legend Yogi Berra had trouble sleeping all week. On Monday he received the news that 99 year old Yankee announcer Bob Sheppard had passed away, only to hear 2 days later that 80 year old Yankees owner George Steinbrenner had also passed. It was sobering news for the 85 year old Berra.
"Sheppard was CLASS through and through, George was something that rhymes with class, if you remove a few letters. I was sad, but not surprised about Shep. He was almost a century old, which is like 100 years, but I was thrown for a loop when I heard about George. And only 2 days apart. That's the part that got me. They say these things come in threes, so I've had cold sweats all week long," said Berra.
Berra is now officially the oldest living person associated with the Yankees, followed by 83 year old ex- pitcher Whitey Ford.
"What's the statue on these things coming in threes? 1 week? 1 month? 3 months? I don't know, I was never any good with numbers, but I guess it's a race between me and Whitey for the third slot. Although, don't count out [Dwight] Gooden, have you seen what he looks like lately?"
Berra's limited mobility prevented him from attending Bob Sheppard's funeral and he doesn't plan on attending the memorial service for George Steinbrenner.
"I'm staying put," said Berra," I sent my symphonies to the families, telling them how sorry I am. I don't think I'll be leaving the house for awhile. I don't wanna take any chances, I plan on sticking around for a bit. I have a secret, long standing bet with Alex [Rodriguez] that I would live to see [Derek] Jeter get married. He said I'd be pushin' up daisies long before Jeter would settle down. Well, guess what, he [Jeter] got engaged last year, so I'm almost there.
I can't wait to rub it in Alex's face, which is actually the bet. The winner gets to rub his 'you know what' in the loser's face, which shows you how smart he [Alex] is. The bet was his idea, not mine. If he wins the bet, that'll mean that I'm dead. I really can't lose. I didn't even make it through the 8th grade, what's his excuse?
It doesn't matter, cause I'm winnin' that bet. That's what's keeping me going, the look on his [Alex's] face when he loses and realizes what's about to happen. Sorry Whitey, you're up next. Say hello to Shep and the Boss for me."
(Alex Rodriguez agreed to be interviewed for the story, but when the question was asked about the bet with Yogi Berra, he promptly hung up the phone. Read into that what you will. Laszlo Ferrar reporting) DD