Although Revis was asking for over $16 million per year, he settled for $46 million over the 4 years, with $32 million of it guaranteed, which breaks down to....well....4 into 46, 11....and carry the...oh whatever, let's just say it's a lot more than you and I make and we'll call it a day.
I, Darrelle Shavar Revis, do make the following requests from the New York Jets:
1. $16 million per year for a minimum of 4 years ( Half of which must be guaranteed).
3. Please have Rex Ryan wear clothes at ALL TIMES. If he needs to shower or take a soak in the hot tub, do it at home, or at least 1 hr AFTER all players, personnel, their families, and generally anyone with sight, has left the premises.
5. Please have fire marshall Bill or Ed, removed from his seat on the 50 yard line, and placed in one of the upper seats. He's way too annoying. Weird, I guess there's never any fires on Sundays?? We need to look into that.
7. Find out once and for all if Joe Namath is wearing a wig. That is way too much hair for a man pushing 70 years old. And I really need him to stay away from my ladies. Did I mention that?
8. I like Mark Sanchez, but see if Peyton Manning is available. Come on Mr. Johnson, use some of that baby shampoo fortune your granddaddy left you and get us a proven winner.
|Joe Namath pretending to listen to Rex Ryan, |
while watching a young woman adjust her top.
With the two sides finally coming together, the team can now concentrate on the upcoming season, instead of off field distractions. The season opens Monday night Sept 13th against the Baltimore Ravens, and Darrelle Revis and the Jets should be ready for the challenge.
When asked if Revis being on the field will change the game plan for the Ravens, Linebacker Ray Lewis had this to say:
"Helllll Nooooo. No excuses now when we whip their asses. They have all their players, good for them, they're gonna need them. Revis and Buttheads. I like that, it has a nice ring. Almost as nice as my Superbowl ring. Game on son."
The signing of Revis insures the Jets of having the premier cornerback in the league locked up for the next 4 years. Will he and the Jets live up to all the hype? Only time will tell. The first test is Monday night.
DD (Laszlo Ferrar reporting)