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Sunday, August 29, 2010


Mobile, AL-  "Rufus" the pooch will not get out from under the Gobinski's bed. He is too upset. He has seen and heard too much.

In a bizarre case of extreme animal cruelty, Buddy and Dot Gobinski have been fornicating in front of their black labrador retreiver, Rufus.

Poor Rufus has witnessed this horrible display one time too many, and now the poor dog refuses to move from under the bed. He has been under there 4 days and counting.

"The traumatized dog has witnessed something that more than likely has scarred him for life. He may not ever be the same again," said animal psychiatrist Dr. Dan Fortuna," it may take months or even years of therapy to make this poor animal right."

The Gobinskis have been married 12 years and still have sex at least once a day, unlike most other married couples who have been married for that length of time. Their love making rituals often involve "role playing" and sometimes things get quite bizarre.

"Buddy and I are a couple of free spirits, we enjoy sex and like to play games to, you know, spice it up a little. We are not afraid to openly show our affection for one another. Rufus never minded before. He's 6 years old now, his puppy days are a distant memory. I'm surprised at his reaction to our love making, he's seen it all before," said Dot Gobinski.

The final straw for poor Rufus may have been the latest bit of role playing done by the Gobinskis. They played "the hungry baker and the glazed doughnut" and poor Rufus apparently had seen enough, and hid under the bed where he still remains.

"That poor animal. After what he's seen I'm surprised he didn't try to impale himself on a sharp implement and commit hari kari. More power to the Gobinskis for enjoying a healthy sexual relationship, but let's face it, Angelina and Brad they are not. We have our work cut out for us trying to get Rufus back to normal.  The first step is getting him out from under that bed, he won't budge," said Dr. Fortuna.

DD (Laszlo Ferrar reporting)

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