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Friday, August 13, 2010


On this day in history, in the year 1957, weak swimmer Jason Voorhees drowned in murky Crystal Lake.  His untimely demise was blamed on 2 horny camp counselors attempting to do the horizontal hokey pokey, instead of checking on the whereabouts of young Jason Voorhees. This may or may not be true.

The bigger question was, and is, why was the boy such a terrible swimmer? Was this not a summer camp called, "Camp Crystal Lake"? Shouldn't someone going to a camp, whose very name mentions a large body of water, have some sort of swimming skills? Where was his buddy?  Why was he alone? We all know the rules of summer camps. Everyone has a swimming buddy for this exact reason, so that you don't go drowning in the lake.

Somehow, someway, Jason Voorhees thought a night swim was a great idea, while possessing absolutely no swimming skills, on Friday the 13th of all days. Now the Voorhees family will never be confused with Rhodes scholars, that I can assure you, but this idea was dumb, even for a Voorhees.

Did Jason Voorhees drown in the lake or not? We don't know. His young body was never found.
What we do know is 22 years later, on Friday the 13th, camp counselors at the newly renovated and re-opened  "Camp Crystal Lake" were butchered by a very angry gentleman wearing a hockey mask and carrying a very large machete. Is this the work of that same lousy childhood swimmer? Perhaps. I don't think there were too many people seeking revenge on counselors at "Camp Crystal Lake" except for those who died in their care. That is a short list. A very short list containing one name, and that name is not Michael Phelps. 

This has been- "This Day in History" I am Prof. Lars Von Streudel

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