K-ROD INTENTIONALLY HITS FATHER-IN-LAW

New York-  Mets relief pitcher Francisco "K-Rod" Rodriguez has given up a lot of crucial hits this year, but none quite as big as the hits he gave to his father-in-law last night.

According to eyewitnesses, the father-in-law made a funny comment about K-Rod's weight, and the Mets closer started throwing punches at the older gentleman.

"The father-in-law was just trying to be funny, pointing at his [K-Rod's] stomach and asking how many months along he was. K-Rod can be a bit of a baby and started yelling curses in Spanish and began hitting the old guy. He's used to giving up a lot of hits, but these hits were certainly not earned," said the unidentified clubhouse source.

K-Rod was taken into custody in Queens and charged with Third Degree Assault, which is a misdemeanor. The father-in-law, meanwhile, was taken to the hospital suffering from a bump on the head and scrapes to his face and scalp.
The final line on K-Rod's night: 1 walk (in handcuffs), 2 hits, and No balls.

DD (Wilma Pantzfit reporting)