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Saturday, March 7, 2009

Tough Times Force Family To Live In Costco

The Werner family has decided that when life gives you lemons, you sleep on them.
Facing eviction and endless threatening phone calls from bill collectors, the family of five took a trip to the local Costco to forget their problems. Doing laps around the giant warehouse and filling up on the free samples of showcased food items was becoming a weekly ritual for the Werners. They so enjoyed themselves at Costco that one night just before closing they decided to stay, and have remained uninvited tenants for the past six weeks.
"I don't know why I didn't think of this sooner," said Bob Werner," this place has everything that we could possibly need. Food, clothes, entertainment, shoot, we could live here comfortably for years."
The manager of this particular Costco, Rich Bernier, has no idea that a family of five has been living in his store for over 42 days, and if any of the employees have figured anything out, they are not letting on.
"I might know something, then again I might not. Know what I mean? I make squat working here and the manager is a jerk, so if five people have been living here for free, and I'm not saying that they are, then more power to them. Screw Costco," said an anonymous agitated employee.
"They have the best baked goods, better than most independent bakeries. Everything is so big and filling. Their birthday cakes are not only delicious, but they're quite comfortable. There is so much icing on them that Bob uses them as a pillow each night. He swears by them," said Nancy Werner.
As the economy and unemployment rates spiral out of control, more and more families may follow the Werners example and enjoy the unintentional hospitality of Costco and their roomy warehouses.
"Geez, we're so happy here that we're thinking of naming our next child Kirkland." DD

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