Wednesday, October 21, 2009
AGAINST FAMILY'S WISHES GARY BUSEY ELOPES WITH MONKEY
Actor and occasional contributor to this publication, Gary Busey, has once again outraged his family and shocked his three fans. This time he may have gone too far. Busey, whose love of animals goes back to his childhood, has possibly crossed the line of acceptable human behavior.
While guest starring on a show about chimpanzees on The Animal Planet Busey became quite smitten with one of his co-stars Sally the Chimp.
After the taping of the program, Busey hung around the set every day for two weeks, smiling that Busey smile and flirting with the primate. The two became inseperable and exactly one month after their first meeting Busey declared his love to Sally.
"Sally is the only one who gets me. I've never felt like this before. I love her man!" screamed Busey to a confused crowd outside the Animal Planet studio.
Many wonder if this is some bizarre publicity stunt or more likely that the actor has finally gone completely insane.
"Gary has always loved animals. I remember him being quite fond of his pet ferret, letting it sleep under his covers as a little boy. His father and I didn't see anything wrong with it at the time, although I do recall he always woke up without his jammy bottoms. There were a few strange incidents now that I think of it. There was that time at the game farm when he french kissed a pig and tried to drink milk directly from a cow. We just figured he was craving attention from his father who actually couldn't stand him. I guess there was a little more to it than that," said Gary's mom.
(2 year old Gary introducing himself to a pig)
Busey, to the chagrin of his family, has run away with Sally and has vowed to find a society that will accept their relationship and not judge them. Possibly West Virginia.
"I don't think this is a stunt, I truly believe that Gary is deeply in love with Sally. I just hope he realizes something very important before he tries to consumate their relationship," said veterinarian and Animal Planet consultant Dr. Kent Tyner,"Sally is actually a male chimp, but having met Gary a few times, I don't think that will stop him." DD