"My intellect has taken a step backward since discovering The Daily Drivel" - Albert Einstein
" When I read it I begin to hate my fellow man. I want to hit something"- Mohandas Gandhi
"A complete abomination. We all weep at its very existence"- Abraham Lincoln
"I wouldn't begin my day without it. I've learned so much." - Lindsay Lohan

Monday, November 8, 2010


Memphis, TN-  Fred Bickle feels like a modern day David who tried to fight back against Goliath. Unlike the Biblical David, this version didn't stand a chance in a fight with a Goliath represented by high priced lawyers.

Bickle started a local delivery company using the name Fred Ex, and the slogan, "The Whirl on Time" which is a not so subtle twist on Fedex's "The World on Time". It is unclear what exactly is meant by the term 'whirl on time', and Bickle gave a cryptic response:

"We all know that a whirl goes fast, don't we? Well, I'm doing that, and I'm also doing it on time. Plain and simple. I'm certainly not copying their lame slogan, I didn't even know they had a slogan," said Bickle.

It would appear that the global delivery company has a justified case of copyright infringement and a ruling by the Tennessee State Court recently confirmed as much, ordering Bickle to stop using the name and slogan immediately.

"Why would a billion dollar company give two hoots about a guy making local deliveries in the back of a beat up van? I shouldn't even be a blip on their radar," said Bickle.

The Fred Ex delivery business is just the latest failure in a long line of them for Bickle, which have included: Mr. Field's Cookies, Kentucky Fried Turkey and Motel 7.

"I'm not a man who gives up easily, I have this van that I plan to put to use. I'm thinking of painting it brown and calling it "DOWNS", which stands for Delivery of Whatever's Needed Service.  I'd like to see them attempt to sue me over that one. I already have a catch phrase ready- What can Down do for you? Now, that, is original, if I do say so myself."

DD (Laszlo Ferrar reporting)

No comments: