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Tuesday, November 2, 2010

The Freak and The Beard Help The Giants Win The World Series

Arlington, TX- The Giants won the World Series in 1954 with the help of players like,'The Say Hey Kid', Hoot and Hoyt, Windy and Dusty. They dominated the Cleveland Indians in that World Series, sweeping them in 4 games. Most baseball analysts expected many more championships from that team, but it never happened. The Giants moved from the Pologrounds in New York to San Francisco in the year 1958, the colorful nicknames slowly disappeared or retired, and the World Series crown has eluded them ever since.

The Freak
 Since their move in 1958, the Giants have played in 3 World Series, losing them all : 1962 to the Yankees, 1989 to the A's, 2002 to the Angels. While there have been numerous talented players on the Giants roster over the years, players like: Willie McCovey, Jack Clark, Will Clark and Barry Bonds, they could never seem to win the whole thing. Until now.

The Beard
 "The 2010 Giants finally won the World Series, defeating the Rangers in 5 games, not because they had more talent, but because they had much better nicknames. Just like they did in 1954. They haven't had that in 55 years," said baseball announcer Joe Buck, "over the years they've had -Barry Bonds, Will Clark, Matt Williams, Jeff Kent, great players with boring names.  Now they have 'The Freak' [Tim Lincecum] and 'The Beard' [Brian Wilson]. As far as the Rangers, they didn't stand a chance with players named- Cliff Lee, Josh Hamilton and , yawn, Michael Young. They really need to add some punch to those names if they want to compete with these guys. "

Along with The Freak and The Beard, the Giants have a rookie catcher with a porn star's name- Buster Posey,  a journeyman 1st baseman with a name that sounds like a spoiled little school girl- Aubrey Huff, and a 3rd baseman  called- 'Kung Fu Panda' [Pablo Sandoval] who also goes by the nickname, 'The Round Mound of Pound'. The Giants are rich with colorful names, and most teams cannot compete with that.

"The names on this team sound like cartoon names from the 1970's. I can imagine a show on Saturday morning 1976, with names like these airing right after "Hong Kong Phooey" and "The Great Grape Ape".  That's what makes this team so unstoppable," said announcer Tim McCarver, "The poor Rangers didn't stand a chance, it was almost unfair. I think if Kung Fu Panda hadn't been in a slump and had played the whole Series, the Rangers would have been swept."

DD (Wilma Pantzfit reporting)

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