"My intellect has taken a step backward since discovering The Daily Drivel" - Albert Einstein
" When I read it I begin to hate my fellow man. I want to hit something"- Mohandas Gandhi
"A complete abomination. We all weep at its very existence"- Abraham Lincoln
"I wouldn't begin my day without it. I've learned so much." - Lindsay Lohan

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

THE UNSINKABLE B M: THE PRISON REPORT WITH BERNIE MADOFF



Well they got me. What can I say?
If I told you I had a good reason for doing what I did would you understand?
If I told you I did what I did for love, would that humanize me in your minds?
Well, it's true. I'm a victim too you know. That's the power of love.
As I sit here contemplating my future over the next 150 years, I think of Ruth.
This song I write for her:



Hey there Bubbeleh
What's it like in New York City?
Our penthouse seems a thousand miles away
But Ruth, tonight you look so pretty
Yes you do
Interrogation spotlights can't shine as bright as you
I swear it's true
_____________________________________
Hey there Bubbeleh
Don't worry about the investors
We have that account down in the Caymans
In the name of my cousin Lester
Don't touch it yet
It'll help get us out of debt
Gabeesh, my little pet?
____________________________________
Oy it's what you do to me
Oy it's what you do to me
Oy it's what you do to me
Oy it's what you do to me
What you do to me
__________________________________
Hey there Bubbeleh
I robbed from Peter and from Paul
The stupid schmucks I fooled them all
Ruthie dear, I had no other way
I stole a little, then a lot
Now I'm sleeping on a cot
My back will never, ever be the same
And you're to blame, yes, you're to blame
_______________________________________
150 years seems pretty long
They tell me I did something wrong
They're all just jealous of my acquired wealth
We had homes and boats and cars
But now I sit here behind bars
My reputation will never, ever be the same
Oh, what a shame, my good name
_______________________________________
Oy it's what you do to me
Oy it's what you do to me
Oy it's what you do to me
Oy it's what you do to me
______________________________________
I've got so much left to say
But these guards are taking my pen away
Those filthy, rotten, no-good schmucks
I wish I had a couple of bucks
I'd bribe them all to look the other way
But I can't pay
I can't pay
_______________________________________
Hey there Bubbeleh
You be good and don't you miss me
150 more years and I'll be out of jail
And I'll be making history like I do
You know it's all because of you
We did whatever we wanted to
Hey there Bubbeleh here's to you
This one's for you
____________________________________
Oy it's what you do to me
Oy it's what you do to me
Oy it's what you do to me
Oy it's what you do to me
What you do to me


Madoff signing out.
(149 years, 351 days and counting. Ruthie dear, please wait for your Bernie Bear).

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