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Saturday, December 26, 2009


Denver, Co- Bertha Fluppins was hungry Christmas Day and rummaged through her freezer for something to eat. She wasn't in the mood for the frozen pot pie or the pepperoni french bread pizza, but she came across a package of fish sticks covered in ice at the back of the freezer.

"I don't remember ever buying fish sticks," said Fluppins, "they must have been in there for quite some time. The box was covered in ice and was actually stuck to the back wall of the freezer. I pulled it out and tried to find some sort of expiration date on it, but I couldn't find any. The Lord works in mysterious ways, I never got a chance to eat the darn things, which is good because it probably would've killed me."

Fluppins, undeterred by her hunger, decided to fry up the ancient fish sticks and eat them for lunch. She tossed them in a frying pan, and luckily had the heat up too high, burning most of the fish sticks beyond edible form. Of the six she attempted to cook, only one was only slightly burned, and when she turned it over to cover it in ketchup, she made her amazing discovery.

"I was about to shove the whole thing in my mouth, and just before I did, I took a quick look at it. I did a double take. It was Jesus staring back at me from the bottom of the fish stick! I couldn't believe it! I licked off the ketchup, and held it up to the light, wondering if my eyes were playing tricks on me, but no, there it was plain as day, Jesus. On his birthday of all days."

Fluppins thinks it was devine intervention and believes that Jesus actually saved her life. The expiration date on the box was faded, but was found to be April 1983.

"I think Ms. Fluppins is very lucky that she didn't ingest that toxic fish stick. I don't think she would have been around to celebrate this holiday or any future holidays if she had," said her doctor, Dean Romano," I am hesitant to think Jesus stepped in here. I am more inclined to blame Fluppins's lousy cooking abilities that actually saved her life.
She sees Jesus, and you know what, more power to her. I kind of see John Phillips from "The Mamas & the Papas". I'm not a religious man, but I guess we should all be happy that it was Jesus she saw, because if it was John Phillips it might have gotten her addicted to heroin and then molested her for the next 10 years." DD

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