"My intellect has taken a step backward since discovering The Daily Drivel" - Albert Einstein
" When I read it I begin to hate my fellow man. I want to hit something"- Mohandas Gandhi
"A complete abomination. We all weep at its very existence"- Abraham Lincoln
"I wouldn't begin my day without it. I've learned so much." - Lindsay Lohan

Sunday, January 31, 2010


Hello, it's been awhile since I've heard from some of you (you know who you are, I won't embarrass you here), others I hear from constantly.
Which is fine. I love you all, you know that.
Please let me dispel a rumor that's been going around for quite some time now.
I don't take sides in sporting events. Never have. Never will.
Quite frankly, I couldn't care less. I'm sure that you're aware that I'm kind of busy. Right? You do understand that, don't you?  I don't have time for games and sports.  I wish I did. Maybe in a perfect world I would (Ha Ha).
When an athlete taps their chest and points toward heaven, or thanks me first when he or his team wins it's sweet, I don't mind , but it's kind of silly.
Do they think I really helped them to win and turned my back on the rest? 
What kind of God would I be if I did that?  Answer, not a very good one, right.
I don't take sides. I don't help balls go over walls or through hoops, it's just not one of the things that I do.
Thank your team mates, thank your coaches, thank your fans, heck, thank yourself, I had nothing to do with it. I'm not responsible for your opponent's misery, who is now sobbing, and is mad at ME. I didn't do anything. I'm busy, my plate is full.
Alright?  Are we clear?  Good, I'll see you on Sunday.
Love, the man upstairs.

No comments: