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Friday, January 2, 2009

Dick Clark Decides To Resume Full Work Load Despite Slurred Speech From Stroke

Dick Clark Shown in the picture above left-age16 (1850) and above right-age 175 (2009)

"America's oldest teenager" Dick Clark is encouraged after his appearance on his annual New Year's Eve program, and wants to resume hosting all of his former programs. Clark, who suffered a devastating stroke almost three years ago, has limited his public appearances the last few years to New Year's Eve only.
"I fink I fown pea goo," said Clark,"you nebbeh know I had a shtro."
Clark, who has refused the chance to retire and stay behind the scenes, cannot resist the pull to be in front of the camera, despite the pleas of his family members and physicians. Clark has been a show man since he was 16 years old, hosting numerous ceremonies for President Zachary Taylor, and the allure of show business remains in his blood, just not the blood flowing to his brain.
Clark is trying to negotiate a deal with one of the major networks to host new versions of American Bandstand, $25,000 Pyramid and America's Funniest Videos. He has demanded to be the sole host, and have full creative control over all aspects of the shows.
Stu Plotnik, an executive at NBC, has expressed interest in the idea.
"I love Dick. I mean really who doesn't? The man is an icon. He's a true genius in this industry and we all owe him a debt of gratitude. We are interested in resurrecting some of the shows that he created, I think there is a need for these wholesome types of shows in this oversaturated reality tv market. I have only one slight problem, I can't understand one God damn word that comes out of his mouth. We will only sign off if he has Ryan Seacrest next to him to bail him out when he starts trying to talk. That is the only way."
Clark, who still looks relatively good, despite his age of 175, demands to host these shows alone, and will keep shopping the idea around until someone bites.
"I'm Diclargh, I blong in fun of the camer. Mericuh luds me." DD

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