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Thursday, June 3, 2010


TN-  Former Vice President Al Gore is serious about global warming, so much so, that he has cited his marriage as a potential cause. After 40 years of marriage Gore has decided to call it quits with his wife Tipper, mere months after celebrating their wedding anniversary.
Gore believes that his red hot love making has killed plants, trees and even wildlife in the area near his farm in Tennessee. He even speculates that he and Tipper are partly to blame for a hole in the ozone.

"Our love making is legendary, and I apologize for that. I apologize to all Americans, and in fact, apologize to the world. Tipper and I have made love all over the world, putting millions of lives in serious jeopardy. I can't tell you how sorry I am. Irresponsible behavior on my part. Please forgive me planet earth," said Gore at a news conference.
The news has polarized the scientific community. Some calling Gore's statements ridiculous, while others find some credence in his theory.

"I was attending a conference in Geneva, and was jarred awake by disturbing shrieking sounds, like a wolf being crushed inside a garbage truck. Soon after my microwave burst into flames and all the plants in my room wilted. I looked out of my window and saw a haze surrounding the moon. There on a blanket in the middle of the courtyard were the Gores, naked and exhausted. A horrible, horrible sight. One that is forever burned into my memory," said Prof. Harold Brueggemann, " yes, I put stock in Al Gore's theory."
Some politicians are catagorizing Gore's separartion from his wife as smoke and mirrors, trying to gain new momentum for his stance on global warming and climate control which has taken several hits over the past few years as nonsense from meteorologists,ecologists and various scientists.

"Isn't this the plot of that lousy Will Smith movie from a few years ago, Hancock, where Smith and Charlize Theron had to stay far apart because they created too much energy when they got near each other. Something like that. So, I guess Al Gore is assuming the role of a super human force. That ego of his knows no bounds does it?" said Sen. Joseph Lieberman.

Whatever the reason, the Gore's 40 year union seems to have come to an abrupt end, and the news shows, tabloids, and talking heads will have a field day dissecting the whole thing.
For now, it seems that some plant life and perhaps  even the ozone are safe for the time being. Until, that is, Mr. Gore  starts to get horny.
God help the planet then.
DD  (Laszlo Ferrar reporting)

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